The Over looked stars of The Street

sesame street
Originally uploaded by travishoffman.

Since its premier on November 10, 1969 Sesame Street has been a positive influence on the youth of America and in the 120 countries it has been shown. With its cast of people and puppets intermingling on the picturesque street many lessons are taught about values in society. Many times puppets find themselves in troublesome situations and in time learn an appropriate means of dealing with that situation. Hence, a lesson learned. Out of the huge cast of monster like puppets only a handful has broken out into mainstream popularity. Perhaps the most popular puppet of all time is Kermit the frog. Kermit not only has achieved success on Sesame Street but also is a main figure in the world of the Muppets. Other well known sesame street "superstars" include Grover and Elmo. I tend to think that Elmo has had the most popular and aggressive marketing done on his behalf, therefore skyrocketing his popularity, to him having his own segment. Almost a mini show. Elmo's World.
I can't help but think about all the other members of the monster cast that never got their due credit as a Superstar and not just another face in the puppet monster arena.
First of all you have Telly Monster. Telly was always very emotional. Almost bipolar. When he was happy he was very happy and he we was sad, he tried to slit his monster wrists. I don't feel that Telly ever achieved a wide notoriety outside of the show. A little history research on Telly revealed that his name is derived from the English word for television. In the early days Telly had an affixation with televisions and actually had antennas standing on the top of his head, his eyes would also whirl around when watching television. Telly's television affixation was soon dropped in fear of portraying negative influences to children. Instead Telly became affiliated with pogo sticks and the musical triangle. Telly almost seems to be guinea pig for creating the marketing superstar, Elmo. Let's think about it here. Telly is a husky looking monster with a pinkish color that had an elongated face. Elmo of course is a small skinny puppet with an oval head and a brighter newer looking red color. Elmo is known for his happy optimistic outlook while Telly is more of a glass half empty type. To put it simply Elmo is better and redder. If Elmo and Telly were related children in a family it would be much like the Brady bunch. Elmo being Marsha and Telly being Jan. Telly actually has some family though it would seem. He has a cousin named Izzy monster, a punk looking light blue monster sporting a backwards facing baseball cap. Telly also has a sister named Juliette, who is rarely seen anymore on the street. No wonder Telly is always so worried, he's got a bully causing coming around roughing him up and he's got a sister that he has no idea what happened to. There is also some connection between the baby monster Natasha and Telly, perhaps a little sister or cousin.
Since sesame street has been around for quite a while now, some of the cast is, on paper anyways, getting quite old. Grover is one of the classic puppets and a personal favorite. I always thought Grover has a voice that is frighteningly similar to that of Yoda, only more cheery. It must be tough seeing all these new puppets taking over the street. I personally think Elmo and Grover don't get along. Grover in his heyday was VERY popular and what happens he gets old, becomes yesterday's news, and watches as this pint size red Elmo fellow takes over the street. As I remember, Grover is the only monster that had a super hero alter ego. Appropriately named Super Grover. Now that's pretty cool. Elmo doesn't have that, at least not yet. Maybe Grover has a clause in his contract stating his exclusiveness to the super hero alter ego. Grover was always my favorite. Let us know who your favorite sesame street character was.
Here are some other monsters/characters that come to mind:
Guy Smiley
Guy Smiley who of course was the ever talented game show host. Smiley was actually retired after the death of Jim Henson his voice and puppeteer. Guy Smiley helped children understand what annoying meant, before they actually knew the word itself.
The Honkers
The Honkers were the monsters who looked like a cross bastardization between Telly and a bicycle horn. They had trumpet like instruments for horns and when they pushed their noses the trumpet horns would sound, much like that of a bicycle horn you squeeze to sound.
Prairie Dawn
Prairie Dawn, as I remember was the only female puppet that wasn't a monster. I think that maybe Prairie Dawn should hook up with either Burt or Ernie and dispel the rumors that have been floating around about them.
The Martians
The Martians almost totally escaped my memory until I stumbled across them on a sesame street webpage. For those of you who don't remember the Martians were fuzzy alien looking creatures with HUGE mouths whose lower jaw could encompass the rest of their face. They also had antenna on their head and their whole bodies resembled an obelisk of sorts. They would often zip around, disappear and reappear, and go Yip Yip Yip

Possible treatment for some of the Muppets
From all this looking back at sesame street, I have noticed that some of the puppets little quirks may be treatable with modern medication. Here's a list of those who could be treated, what condition they may have and with what medication to treat them.

Telly - General Anxiety - Valium
Oscar - Alcoholism - a 12 step program
Ernie - ADD - Ritalin
The Two Headed Monster - Dissociative identity disorder / psychological evaluation/antidepressants
Bert - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Antidepressants

In closing, Elmo, you may be the most popular person on the street; however, these are the other people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood.

Fruit Monster?

cookie
Originally uploaded by travishoffman.

When I think of my youth I can't help but remember the times I spent mesmerized watching sesame street on TV. I grew up in the country without any cable so we only received three stations. PBS was a popular choice when I was young with great shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, as well as random other shows such as 3-2-1-Contact and Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago. No show however influenced me more then Sesame Street. I would spend countless hours watching the adventures of Bert & Ernie, Elmo, Grover, and Cookie Monster. Today the sesame street I once knew is being threatened by the health craze taking over our nation. Sesame Street which started its 36th season earlier this week kicked off a Healthier Habits for Life campaign. On one hand I applaud Sesame Street for working to help today's youth by engraining in their mind the concept of eating right. I do, however on the other hand, find it to almost be blasphemy for Cookie Monster to switch from his cookie in taking lifestyle to a "Healthier" diet of fruits and vegetables. Perhaps the intake of cookies is quite important to the imaginary species of "cookie monsters". So important it would seem that instead of the common moniker of "monster" it has to be classified as a different sub-phylum of "Cookie". What if cookie monster needs these cookies to live? What if for his kind the cookie is essential for life? Apparently Sesame Street plans on having a series of sketches and songs where cookie monster is introduced to vegetables and fruits as a better source of food, then "it's diet essential for life" cookies. Let's get real honest here, I don't think the cookie monster is the most intelligent cast member on "the street". I mean those weird googley eyes always staring blankly in different directions reminds me a lot of a hot dog vendor I saw when I was young at a professional baseball game. Cookie monster might not realize that if he stops eating cookies....he will die. He is too stupid to know any better. Soon "the suits" on "the street" will have him sucking down fruit smoothies and V8 as his body slowly dwindles away. All while he pleads desperately into the camera with that knowing voice yelping "cookie".

I remember the day when I was watching Sesame Street and I made a startling revelation. I realized that the cookie monster who so famously tore through a plate of a dozen cookies wasn't ACTUALLY eating ANYTHING! Thats right he would just cram them in his mouth crush them up a bit and the crumbs and pieces of mutilated cookie would fly haphazardly all around him. Not only was the cookie monster not eating the cookies, but he was wasting food! As my mother used to say upon my not eating the veggies, there's starving kids in Africa and you won't even eat your butter beans! Well dammit cookie monster, there's starving children in Africa and you won't even EAT your cookies! I was jaded that day when I realized the lack of eating done by the cookie monster.

On yahoo oddly enough section there is a screenshot of cookie monster being taught by Hoots, by song, teaching cookie monster to enjoy fruits and vegetables too. (Hoots, of course being the saxophone playing owl in sesame streets exclusive Vegas style shady jazz club) Oddly enough though in the pictures they are surrounded by a barrage of fruits and vegetables, some are "puppetized" such as an apple and a banana. Isn't that strange or awkward for the talking banana and apple. "Hey cookie monster we're delicious you should eat several of us every day "Hey, cookie eat my brother apple, he's delicious." How messed up is this, these puppetized fruits and vegetables are rooting for cookie monster to EAT THEM. Essentially it'dd be like a person throwing another bleeding person to a great white shark all while singing about how delicious people taste, Now that's some mafia sounding stuff. If I were the fruits and vegetables that could talk I'd be running like hell! I mean we've all seen the cookie monster tear into a plate of cookies...it's not pretty. I can hear the horrific cries of the fruits and vegetables AHHHHHHHH!!. To make things worse the fruit and vegetable people wouldntt even be completely eaten, they'd only be crunched around in his mouth and spit back up to slowly die on the cold ground. Fruit and vegetable juice smattered against the walls and floor. Even the CSI guys would want to hurl upon seeing that horrific scene.


Beyond the obvious oddness of the cookie monster quitting the cookie eating business there's another issue that in the real world, would present itself...to put it simply, bowel movements. Anybody whose diet has or was changed quickly has most likely experienced the joys of the stomach adapting to the new type of food intake. Can you imagine a diet of strictly cookies...and then switching only to vegetables and fruits. Oh my goodness. You'd be living in the bathroom sitting on a ring of fire, not a good thing. You need some roughage man.
What if cookie monster really takes to the eating of fruits and vegetables...what if he loves them and can't stop eating them. It is with this thought that I present the following scenarios:

Scenario 1: Veggie Tale Nightmare
Cookie monster running rampant on the set of the religious oriented cartoon "veggie tales". Cookie runs hunting down every last veggie ripping into their flesh with a carnal savageness. A Blur of blue fur hurdling toward the giant celery stick guy as he runs awkwardly from certain death and is losing the race.

Scenario 2: Dirty Underwear
A fruit of the loom commercial with the guys dressed up like grapes, apples and the other fruit standing on a stage in front of the public in a question answer format type of setup with the press. Suddenly catapulting out of the crowd is a crazy googley eyed beast still with carrot juice dripping from his furry mouth. His battle cry of "FRUIT" as he take decapitates the grape guy with on bite. Not only would this be a bloody horrible scene, but since the fruit of the loom people aren't actually fruit...but people..cookie monsters attempted eating of the walking fruit might introduce him to the taste of human flesh.
Once this happens the cookie monster will have to be put down so that he doesn't go on Hannibal Lector like rampages eating all the children who once knew him as the loveable cookie monster.

Some things in life are just to precious to be changed due to social pressure. The cookie monster should be allowed to eat only cookies. It's his god given right as a cookie monster. But NO, "the suits" at PBS have to be socially "cool" and introduce him to fruits and vegetables. Nice going Sesame Street, you've single handedly turned the loveable cookie monster into a natural born cannibalistic killing machine. When will the madness stop? When?

ponderplace april and travis

ponderplace april and travis
Originally uploaded by travishoffman.

Lot's of things happening since the last post way back when. April and I have taken up Podcasting. You can check it out at www.theponderplace.com . That's taking up alot of time. I think come summer i'm going to dive back into the project i'm doing on my father. I'm also talking with some contacts about designing graphics for a software program in development. On our podcast I ponder different topics that I've thought about..typically way too much. I think I'm going to post my "rants" here as well in the ponderplace shownotes. I'm trying to get back into singing and songwriting, but it's hard to get motivated for some reason. All in good time I suppose. More to follow