Resistance is McFutile

Did you know that society has hit an all time low…all while productivity has reached an all time high? I was at a McDonalds drive through today and I noticed something in the window. McDonalds…or at least some of them now have conveyor belt systems that completely take care of getting the drinks ready. Apparently the person pushes a button…they may or may not have to insert the cup into the automated system….then the cup starts moving in a cup holder looking thingy and the first stop is for the ice…the second stop is for the soda…then a pause for the carbonation to settle…then it fills a bit more and moves to the end of the line. Basically all the person has to do is put the lid on the cup and hand it to you. How much more automated does the fast food industry have to get? Have we not yet reached a plateau of efficiency in the fast food industry? Is five minutes too much to ask a person to wait for a fat filled artery clogging meal? What is going on here? When will it just be good enough? I started thinking what if the technology in the fast food industry has yet to come close to peaking. What I offer to you our listeners, is a potentially disturbing look into the future of McDonalds….a look into the fast food industry…and sadly, an ominous look at the future of mankind. In 2004, Jim Catalupo, 60 suddenly dies of an apparent heart attack. Jim Catalupo was the CEO of McDonalds. Soon afterwards The Board of McDonalds named Charlie Bell McDonalds new CEO. Sadly Charlie Bell’s stint of CEO of McDonalds was short lived. Only 7 months after being named CEO Bell resigned because of his battle with Cancer. Sadly Bell recently lost his battle. The next guy up for the position of McDonalds CEO was Jim Skinner. Recently the anniversary of the happy meal was celebrated with special toys. One toy maker seems to me to be an awfully odd choice. The Toy Company Sanrio…responsible for the hello kitty phenomenon. The Sanrio toy company is based out of Japan. That’s right; Japan…the same Japan that is responsible for the humanoid robot creature referred to Asimo. Asimo is an advanced robot who stands about four foot tall and is capable of self mobilization, sound recognition, body language recognition, as well as the ability to do simple tasks. Can you say conspiracy? Today McDonalds has an automated drink conveyor belt. How long before there is a team of Asimo robots manning McDonalds. Obviously McDonalds CEO Jim Skinner and Honda CEO Takeo Fukui are developing a technological takeover of the fast food corporation…..Ok you’re right I have no proof that Honda and McDonalds have any relations what so ever. I don’t have any hard evidence…………except that in June of 2000 Honda and McDonalds teamed up in Australia for a contest where Honda automobiles were the grand prizes. The game pieces were of course conveniently located on McDonalds Food products such as the large and medium drinks, shakes as well as fries. Hmmm…seems to me the seeds have been sewn for beautiful disastrous relationships that will no doubt bring the other fast food companies to their knees. Just imagine all the human McDonalds workers…unemployed, banished, nay…replaced by Asimo robots. Pure efficiency in work. Sadly however as we all saw in the recent irobot movie starring Will Smith, the machines may very well rise. What if these cute little Asimo robots follow the road of the robots in the movie? What if they turn on the world? Ok, you’re thinking big deal, a couple of crazy four foot tall robots. Sure, but you haven’t considered the grandeur of the situation. OBVIOUSLY, the robots won’t turn at first, they’ll be well developed and they will have replaced all human workers in the McDonalds chain worldwide. Those several cute and crazy robots quickly jump to an entire army of savage robots. There are over 31,000 McDonalds worldwide, and an excess of over a million and a half workers….or in this scenario, blood thirsty savage killer robots. That’s an imminent threat people. Imagine Asimo’s running throughout the community spurting hot French fry grease at innocent children. Or even worse…grease plus flame equals flamethrower. Imagine people running in terror from the little robots picking them off one by one….oh yeah in that day and age the robots would be advanced enough to have superhuman strength, speed, and communication….and probably build in rocket thingies for weapons….that’s granted. I say we trash all the technological innovations in the food industry. Let’s bring it down to basics. One man, a grill, and a plan. That’s what I think we need to do. I don’t want future family line to be killed violently by power hungry robots. You won’t have to worry about the cholesterol from the food killing you…you’ll be more worried about the robots. I say instead of jumping on the next quickest way to make your drink faster we go back to the good ole reliable system of manpower. It’s the right thing to do for McDonalds, the fast food industry, and yes…the world. For when the millions of robots attack it’s obvious that Resistance is McFutile.